Suicide Part 2 March 30, 2009
Posted by justinlall in Blog.Tags: Life, Suicide
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I’m bipolar.
What that basically means is that sometimes I feel really good and sometimes I feel really bad. These mood swings are unrelated to my environment. They just happen. Luckily there are great medicines available to help bipolar people have more stable moods. However, at the age of 17, full of all the wisdom in the world, I made the decision to stop taking my medicine. I was feeling numb on meds and rather than try to find a new one, I decided I could handle the lows for the rest of my life.
That is why I am writing this post. I was so very wrong and arrogant, and I don’t want anyone else to make the same mistake. You can’t just deal with diabetes, and the same is true of bipolar or depression. Don’t arrogantly assume you have more control than you do, and don’t be too proud or ashamed to take medicine.
I understand now that if I don’t take medicine I will eventually kill myself. It is not the only thing I need to fix my problems, but it is the most vital. I am lucky enough to have a second chance, and hopefully I will learn from my mistakes now. Hopefully you will too.
“SECOND” chances are the nutz! Bipolar= baller
glad you are doing better, justin. i have to take meds for severe depression also. if you want to talk, just look for me on bbo
Justin – you sound SO good! And – I’m just glad you are AROUND to sound good OR bad! (But good IS better
)
When you get to be an old dinosaur like me, you start to realize that much of life is having to choose the best of not-so-good choices. I can guess that the meds have some unpleasant side effects. Yet, as you have so vividly experienced – some things are worse than unfortunate side effects.
I LOVE the new blog!! Look forward to seeing it more & more – not to mention seeing YOU more and more, Justin!
you are my inspiration, little-yet-not-so-little J! i love you!!
Having gone through exactly what you are going through now, from 2002-2006 before ECT corrected my issue, I empathize fully the literal ups and downs that you are experiencing. I’m sure that you’ve probably been swamped with numerous suggestions on how to manage the illness, but the only think I can share that helped me directly, was that you can not endure this alone. I was quite thankful that during my time in Canada, that most of the entire bridge community in Nanaimo were supportive and encouraging.
Courage is your greatest ally, and I believe you have a large reserve of it in you. Hope to see you in D.C. – feel free to find me out if you have any questions about bipolarism.